A RECONCILIATION RITUAL FOR ESTRANGED FRIENDS OR LOVERS
A couple of years ago i had a terrible falling out with a friend-lover with whom i had been very close for more than 25 years. Despite several attempts on both of our parts to reconcile, the unkind words that had been spoken and the disastrous events that had transpired between us were impossible for either of us to forgive. (Neither he nor i are the kind to forget, so that was never an issue.) Each of us was right in our own way, and each of us had a list of grievances against the other.
For two years we tried making formal statements of apology and forgiveness and promising to never mention the precipitating events again, but no matter what we vowed, one or the other of us would eventually bring up issues of "betrayal" or "lack of trust" and the relationship would unravel again. The problem was that although we still WANTED to be friends, we just didn't know how.
To put a final end to the rift between us, we performed a simple little ritual. We bought a red figurative candle from Bolivia that depicted a man and a woman in 19th century clothes standing arm in arm with wicks coming from their heads. We sat on the floor with the candle between us and sprinkled Reconciliation Powder on each other and on the candle. Then we lit the candle wicks (he lit mine and i lit his) and silently held hands while the candle burned. This ritual worked wonders. Our relationship became harmonious once again and we no longer fretted about those two "lost years" of strife.